frackowack gets a squid

here's a picture of Adam Frackowiak jumpkicking your sorry ass. adam is a friend of ours from high school--or rather, was a friend of ours in high school; I haven't seen him in years. Adam was tall, bespectacled, Polish--his parents were from Poland, so he was fully bilingual--and funny as a motherfucker. we called him Frackowack for short. he hung out with us till around the summer of 1996, when he started getting into Marilyn Manson, at which time he ditched the glasses, acquired a lipring and goth threads, dredded up his hair, and began to amass a squeeing group of female devotees. people had suddenly discovered how cool he was, and he didn't need us anymore (*sniff*).

during my senior year of high school, as a gag I took his freshman year picture--taken when he was still a dork--to one of those stands in the mall where they transfer images to mugs and t-shirts. I had the guy make me a shirt with Frackowack's yearbook picture on the front, and text underneath reading, Have You Seen Me? Missing Since 1995. I thought it was pretty funny, but the shirt seemed to make most people nervous since they assumed it was an earnest attempt to locate a missing kid. Frackowack himself liked the shirt since it featured him, but I'm not sure he really got it (which is probably just as well).

now that I've told you that, the following conversation between M and I will make more sense. immediately after having this conversation we pieced it back together on paper, cause even at the time it was happening we recognized that it was neato--one of those usually uncapturable experiences you sometimes have with someone where you both know you're grooving--and we planned to illustrate it or something. hasn't happened yet.

M: so when I was 16, and goin out with Jes, we went out one time to some Japanese restaurant, where I ordered squid. I ate one of em--they were tiny, some Japanese specialty--

NNN: where'd you go? Austin?

M: San Antonio.

NNN: Tokyo Steak House?

M: I don't know.

NNN: Tea Garden?

M: I don't KNOW! let me finish!

NNN: ok, ok.

M: anyway, I ate one of em and took the other one home, where I put it in a Ziplock bag in my room for like a week, and then took it as a present for Adam Frackowack. [as though talking to Frackowack] hey Adam, brought you something. brought you a bookmark. a pillow, a travel pillow. it's a condom, Adam, for your first night!

NNN: what'd he say? [imitating the Frack] aaaauugh! what the fuck!

M: something.

NNN: and then he kicked your ass.

M: then I kicked his ass.

[laughter]

NNN: remember the time you and Frack got into a mock fight down at the end of the hall, in the morning place?

M: I remember Mr. Stoore, the Research and Development teacher, coming out of his room and lining us up, me and Brent and...and...

NNN: Frack?

M: yeah.

NNN: I remember you guys smiling. and him pretending. giving you a mock lecture. I was there too, though, did you know that?

M: no, I don't remember it...

NNN: yeah, I was standing in front of the window with my eyebrow raised. like...like--look at me--like this.

M: [laughs] really? you were able to do that then?

NNN: yeah, man, always. since I was 11.

M: seems like you wouldn't have done that face then, though. seems like you would have been too depressed.

NNN: yeah, you're probably right. I would've just made a face like this, see? [makes straighline, deadpan face] but underneath I was raising my eyebrow.

M: yeah...and now it's finally coming out.